Do you ever just cry out of nowhere? Unexpectedly? For no reason?
This is happening a lot to me lately, not the depression kind of cry, but a happy cry, a grateful cry.
Tonight, as I finished a roller blade (one of my favorite things to do), I saw ahead of me the rest of the bike path and a stunning sunset at its end. Tears filled my eyes and out loud I said, “Wow.” It was a Wow moment. A sunset no camera or words could capture.
The other night at midnight of my birthday my youngest daughter came in and sang to me in bed right when the clock turned twelve. Tears. Wow moment. At my birthday celebration, each daughter gave me the most thoughtful, creative gift you could imagine and my husband’s words in his card to me were truly heartwarming. Tears? Yes! I had four grateful cries in a row. Just after I wiped away tears from one gift I started them again on the next. Wow, wow, wow and wow.
My second daughter is battling a very painful hip injury and we have to see a specialist tomorrow. We were told only one parent could come, but I begged a super nice PA named Mike to please ask if Craig and I can both come as it’s a very significant appointment. When Mike called back to say ok, we had been given permission, guess what? I cried as I thanked him. I could hardly talk. Yes, he probably thought I was crazy, but it was a WOW for me.
As of this afternoon a book store I love in Frisco, Colorado called The Next Page now carries my book and cards. Crazy times for all small businesses, but they are selling Mom is Enough and The Mom is Enough Intuitive Card deck anyway. Guess what? Yes, tears as I walked out the door. Another Wow.
These unexpected joys, these “Wow” moments, kindnesses shown in a crazy time, are what have gotten me through Covid and out of my slump which I wrote about in my last blog. Unexpected, tearful, beautiful joys.
Family dinners. Time in the mountains. Actually being able to kiss my daughters goodnight because they are home. Our entire family being able to spend time together the year before my oldest daughter will be leaving for college. My brother and his family coming to Colorado for five days, my parents, Craig and I having a couple’s golf date and dinner! Sleeping past 6 a.m.! And roller blading on a Wednesday night.
For these things I am grateful.
So even though we are still living with daily changes and challenges, I am trying to grow from them. For those of you who have read my blog over the years you know that I usually consider the first day of school my “Happy New Year,” my fresh start, because in January I am already trucking through the school year. This year, however, the start of school was not my happy new year, instead it was my, “WTF IS GOING ON!” (pardon the French) year. But, (sigh), I have worked through that, and instead, I have decided that today is my New Year. Yesterday was my birthday so today is my first full day at this new age, my first full day in this year, my fresh start. My transition to noticing the Wow moments. Happy New Year to me! Pop the champagne!
One of my annual birthday gifts my family gives me is a day alone by the Snake River. Those of you know me know what a special place this river is to me and how much Spirit speaks to me here. Today, as I was pondering everything I just shared with you above, I noticed that a bush (shown in the photo at the start of this blog) was growing against a rock in the middle of the river. As the sun shined on my face and warmed my entire body, the message was clear:
“Don’t envision how it should look, just TRUST.”
Another “Wow” moment. More tears in my eyes. There should not be a bush growing in a river with rock base and cold water around it. The bush should not be bright green when the water is almost freezing and trees on shore are turning yellow. It should not be there at all. But there it was, looking at me, reminding me, TRUST.
So, this is my lesson for my year ahead. Things may not look like they should, or how I want them to, or as I had hoped, but I need to TRUST. I need to TRUST the reason my kids aren’t in school, TRUST the reason sports are cancelled, TRUST the reason things change daily. TRUST that although this is not how things “should be,” I still need to find the beauty in them, just like the bush against the rock. TRUST that Wow moments are everywhere, I just have to notice them.
Blessings and love,