Who Shows Up?

Murphy always showed up.  When I was happy, angry, sad, busy, silly.  No matter how I was acting, no matter what kind of day I was having, Murph-dog was right behind me (sometimes so close I tripped over him!) with love to give.  We called Murphy our “labradope” instead of labrador because he was, well, a Murphy.  You couldn’t find a goofier but more loyal dog who had a heart made of pure, pure love.  Murph had a heart I wish many humans had, including myself.

You see, Murphy loved unconditionally.  To me that means loving without any conditions.

When someone loves you unconditionally they love all of you.  They love all your faults, they love all your quirks, they forgive your mistakes, they love you for you.  And they always, always show up.   

Murphy’s passing on Thanksgiving as tragic as it was, has been a true reminder to me that what I am most thankful for in my life are for those who always show up.

For Murphy (and us) on Thanksgiving night it was Kevin and Victoria at the kennel, Dr. Miller in the ER and our dear, dear friend Megan who left her own family to go Murph, put us on speaker phone and hold him while he passed away.  They showed up.

After Murphy left us it was those who called, those who offered to have their dogs hang out with Dillon, those who came by our house, those who gave cards/gifts and those who text us daily (and continue to do so) to see how we are.   They showed up.

All of this love that my family and I are so blessed to have is amazing.  I tell our daughters I would rather have just one person in my life who always shows up than a hundred who pretend to or who never do.  I know my girls learned through this which of their friends show up.  Sadly sometimes the hardest times in our lives make us realize who matters most.  

I don’t think I am a perfect daughter, friend, mom or wife, (far from it!) nor do I think I have perfect parents, perfect friends, perfect kids or a perfect marriage, but my true friends, my parents, my kids, my husband, they show up.  Always.  If I yell and scream and offend and go a little bit cuckoo… they show up.   If I celebrate a success, accomplish a goal, am excited about something…they show up.  And this is as close to perfection as I can imagine.

Murphy has reminded me of an important life lesson that I often forget:  I don’t have time in my crazy, busy, lucky, blessed life for those that don’t show up!  

In April I wrote a blog where I included a favorite quote of mine,  “There comes a time when you have to stop crossing oceans for people who wouldn’t jump puddles for you.”   It is a hard lesson I’ve been trying to learn for a long time and Murphy’s passing is yet another reminder.

I realize everyone has their own lives, everyone gets busy, that people don’t mean to not show up, but the ones who do, the ones who make the time and the ones who care enough to remember to show up, you are who I am most thankful for.  You are the ones I want to focus on from this day forward.  You are the ones that matter.  Everyone else that I worry about pleasing or those people whom I often feel hurt by I need to let go of.  I only need to focus on those that truly love me, those that show up.  I know this.  I do.  I am just sorry it took Murphy going to God to remind me.

Thank you, thank you, thank you to all of you amazing people in my life who love me unconditionally and who show up.  I hope you know I will show up for you too.

And of course an extra big thank you to Murphy for showing up for me (and our family!) every single day since the first day we met and for reminding me in your passing who really matters in my life.   I miss you buddy.



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