Happy Halloween! 🎃
I was with someone yesterday afternoon that I greatly look up to and in our discussion, she said something so simple yet so profound that has stuck with me since;
“Every person comes with their own set of issues.”
These words are timely with Halloween being today as this can also be said as, every person comes with devils, monsters, demons etc. Whatever you want to call them, we all have them.
I have thought about this over and over since yesterday and this fact speaks so strongly to me. I have my set of issues. My husband, his. My friends theirs. My children theirs. There is no one without issues. I know some issues are worse than others and some issues harder to overcome than others, but we all have them.
We also discussed the increase of divorce in our generation and the increase in how quickly and easily people drop friends these days. We wondered if these people abandoning/giving up on spouses/relationships/friends don’t realize that they will always find issues with a new spouse or friend as well!
I am not judging those who get divorced or those who drop friends because I never know what happens in others relationships, but I do feel that prior to my generation instead of dwelling on people’s issues, criticizing others and being so quick to drop friends or get a divorce, people would say,
“Get over it already will ya?” And they would. Or they would make an effort to see a minister, see a counselor or at least try to see the other persons side. Now in my opinion it seems to be a lot more of “my way or the highway” instead of compromise and hard work.
Of course, alcoholism, drug abuse, physical abuse, verbal abuse, neglect, certain disorders; those are all extreme issues we absolutely cannot and should not try to “get over” and live with, but what about the others? What if someone hurts us emotionally without intending to? What if someone didn’t do something exactly the way we would? What if someone didn’t meet our expectations? What if someone made a choice that was different from the choice we would’ve made? Are these their issues or actually our own? And is it worth severing a relationship over?
There is a quote I love that says:
“People are in your life as a blessin’ or a lesson.” -Anonymous
“Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.”
And yet another:
“The things we dislike most in others are the characteristics we like least in ourselves”.
And ask myself then, is this issue that bothers me so much about _______ really her issue, or is it my own?
So, what is my point in all this rambling? My point is that even Channing Tatum has issues! (Ok, maybe not physically! But otherwise…) and even issues I might see Channing Tatum as having may not be things he considers issues or someone else considers issues. So perhaps instead of saying everyone comes with their own set of issues I should say:
“Everyone comes with their own set of issues, but what we perceive as someone else issues might actually be our own.”
So I think the lesson for me is to learn to accept those I love for who they are and know that anyone I am close to or become close will have issues (or I will have issues with them) and that is just a fact of life.
We have all heard “the grass is always greener,…” but is it? Really? That perfect beautiful, green lawn up the street is full of pesticides and has no life, but our lawn has footprints, a couple stray toys, dog poop and Halloween decorations. Would I prefer the green? No way.
I hope for me that as I embark on this upcoming holiday season that I try to just be thankful that I have so many people I know well enough and love well enough to get to see their issues and love them anyway, just as I hope they will love me despite mine.
Blessings and love,