“Oh, glory be, I finally see,
The strength, the power, the joy of me!”
-KBS
I woke up this morning with a carol in my head, “It’s the holiday season, do do dee doop….” And I started my morning happy. I made a smiley faces out of chocolate chips in my daughters pancakes and continued my singing as I let my dogs out, “It’s the most wonderful time of the year!” (Apologies to my neighbors if I was too loud!). I chose my morning.
My point? If you are reading this, you are probably like me and were raised with the quote, “Do unto others as you’d have done to you.” But, if you are like me, you also may also find you do, “do unto others”, but rarely do they “do unto you” (at least in the way you’ve envisioned).
It’s hard right? Hurtful? Hard to almost always feel like the giver and not feel you receive? I have dealt with this so much over the years and this morning, I realized, I’ve had enough. This morning, I realized, I have the power to stop wasting my time feeling hurt from others, and to start my day with a song and chocolate chip pancakes. I have the power to not think about anything else but being happy in that moment.
Spirit has been telling me for years:
- “Let go of those who do not serve you”
- “Don’t waste time and energy on things that don’t make you happy”
- “Choose you”
But for nurturers, these things are hard because we like to do things for others. It is in our heart, our core, our souls to think of others and do things for them. It is a blessing and a curse. We give, give, give, but so rarely receive, or at least receive in the way we hoped to. Spirit asked me today,
What if instead of waiting for others to give to me, I give to MYSELF? What if instead of waiting for others to fill me with joy, I fill myself with joy?
And randomly, (well, not randomly, quite on purpose from Spirit), I came across a quote a friend gave me ten years ago, written by Simran Singh, 11:11:
“You want more money and abundance so you feel safe.
If you let yourself feel safe, the money and abundance would come.
You want more love to feel love,
Be in love with you and love will show up on all sides.
Want better health, be healthy and feel it expand.
That which you desire, BECOME
And then more will be coming.”
I re-read that several times this morning:
“You want more money and abundance so you feel safe.
If you let yourself feel safe, the money and abundance would come.
You want more love to feel love,
Be in love with you and love will show up on all sides.
Want better health, be healthy and feel it expand.
That which you desire, BECOME
And then more will be coming.”
And it resonates.
I have to make things in my life happen that I want, ME. SO TRUE! I am powerful! I am in charge of me! I am in charge of the mood I wake up in, the way I treat others, and the way others treat me.
I can choose to be hurt. Or I can choose to take a deep breath and say I won’t let you hurt me.
I can choose to walk away. I can choose to say no thank you.
I can choose to make time for mediation in my day, or choose to be hustled and bustled.
I can choose to let someone’s remarks hurt me, or take a deep breath and say, “I will not let what she did hurt!”
Of course, this isn’t always easy, but the bottom line is, I AM POWERFUL. YOU ARE POWERFUL. Our day is what we make of it.
We are in charge of our own lives and we get to decide if we take this power, or if we let emotions, others, or everyday life take control of us.
But, what I need to remember is:
- No one else is in charge of me
- No one else decides how I react to a person or situation
- No one else can control my emotions
This being said, we are human, we get hurt. Expectations aren’t met. I cannot tell you how many times I have told myself over and over to stop having expectations. I have told myself over and over others most likely won’t do what I would do. They are not me.
Do I sometimes wish I had a me as a friend? Yes.
Or as I told one of my daughters the other day, “Sometimes I wish you were my age so you could be my friend,” because, yes, my daughters are extremely thoughtful, and they too have felt the way I feel about others not meeting expectations.
IT IS HARD, but, WE CAN BEAT IT by doing these things for ourselves, and maybe as we do so, things will show up, the unexpected will happen and it will be even better than the expected!
I am reminded of when I was twenty-one, a senior in college. I had just survived my brain aneurysm and I was on top of the world. I was singing, and happy, and riding a horse every week and really taking care of me. And guess what? That is the time when Craig and I found each other. That is the time I got into graduate school, that is the time I had incredible thoughtful friends. That was one of the happiest times in my life. I ATTRACTED WHAT I WAS GIVING MYSELF! Joy, love, thoughtfulness, happiness.
And yes, twenty-one brings a lot less responsibility than true adult hood, but why can’t I still do these things for myself now? The answer is, I CAN.
I am not trying to be egotistical here, but I am thoughtful beyond belief. I really am. I get this from my parents. (love you mom and dad!). But let me tell you, this is not something to brag about, really, because I think thoughtful people get hurt the most. Why? Because we hope or expect others to also be thoughtful to us. And thoughtful people are pretty hard to find. So, I ask Spirit, “What do I do?” And the answer is,
Be thoughtful to yourself! Give yourself what you want and need and don’t wait for others.
And as Simran Singh says, “That which you desire become and more will be coming.”
So, today I count my blessings. Today I focus on those that lift me up. Focus on what makes me soar.
Today I choose me. Today I seize my power.
Today I shout out loud:
“It is December 1st and I have the power to embrace that and all the joy it brings me!”
Today I am singing, “It’s the holiday season, be doop de doo…a hickory dock!” And no one can shut me up!
Blessings to you and wishes for embracing who you are and realizing your own power.
Love,
