Last Sunday, after a wonderful college family weekend with our senior daughter, my adulting daughter’s flight was delayed causing an extremely tight connection in Dallas. She is twenty- three. I know she’s got it, I know she’s a word traveler. I know, I know, I know. But I am always a mom. As the delay got longer, and her connection time shorter, she finally got on the plane, but I didn’t let it go. No. I looked up the gate she was landing at in Dallas and the gate she would be departing from. B terminal to A terminal. It seemed impossible that she’d make it in 23 minutes. So, then I looked at the next flight from Dallas to Chicago and was relieved there were two more that night. In case.
My heart told me she’d be fine. My head felt guilty I hadn’t paid more for her to take the direct flight, and spiraled into; “If she misses it she’ll get home late, she’ll have a rough morning at work etc., etc.” Sigh. I took a breath and boarded my own flight assured I would check the Wi-Fi and get her updates.
Well, on my flight, the Wi-Fi wasn’t working. A half an hour in I told the kind flight attendant, and she came back to let me know they were working on it. Another half hour passed, and she checked with me again. Not working. She apologized, and I smiled at her and told her, “It’s not supposed to work because I’m supposed to let go of the fact that my daughter might miss her connection in Dallas.” I knew it was true, cue the Frozen song “Let It Go!” She patted my shoulder, told me she understood, and we started to talk. Her name was Karen. We talked about releasing control, letting go, and how it’s so much easier to say than to do. We talked about who has the real control even though we don’t always agree with His decisions up there. AND, she shared something her grandma told her that will now be with me forever;
“Until you release, you can’t increase!”
One.hundred.percent.
And then she brought me a free drink, gave me a hug, and told me to release, and try to enjoy the rest of the flight.
Karen and I had begun talking about a tight flight connection and releasing that worry, but I needed to hear her quote for deeper reasons. I am guilty of having a very hard time releasing things that hurt me. The pain comes back, the tears come back, both at times when I least expect them.
I question God sometimes and truly have asked Him, “WTF?” And I have asked Him why so many horrible things happen to such wonderful people. Why can’t He send the cancer, the losses, the devastating life changes to the criminals, the cruel, the narcissists-instead of all these beautiful, loving people we know going through them?
One of my daughters has a mantra she has taught me; “The comeback is bigger than the setback.” And if you look at so many that have been through the setbacks, they are very strong people. They are survivors. They appreciate life. They look at the sides of the mountains and not just the top. Perhaps the criminals, the cruel, the narcissists could never get to this level, so God saves the growth for the ones who can. But that doesn’t make the experiences less difficult, or less painful, and there might always be a scar. But there might also be an accomplishment, a soul goal, something that God wanted us to achieve that we may not have achieved if we hadn’t gone through the pain, the setback, or the setbacks, plural.
Sure, I can say this all day long to comfort myself, but words don’t make the hard things get better or simply go away. But, I do know it is unhealthy to hold onto them, and that I can only heal by trying to release them. Heal by acknowledging them, heal by moving forward, heal one step at a time even if they are only with tiny, baby steps. And as I release, other things in my life will increase. New experiences, new people, new joys, new opportunities.
So, my goal for now is that I am trying to release so I can increase.
I share this with you twofold,
1. Because you never know the wonderful people you are going to meet just by talking to them, and what they might share with you.
And,
2. Because maybe you too are holding onto something that you need to try to release in order to increase things in your life.
Great thanks to Karen (and her grandma), and I hope their quote will help you to reflect, as it has helped me.
(And by the way, my daughter made her Dallas connection-right as they were boarding group six!👼🏼)
Happy October!
Blessings and love,
Find Your Wings©️